This is All YOUR Fault!
by Bianca tabbycat
Summary: Hermione and Draco get trapped in a broom closet... with barely enough space to move. Sparks will most definitely fly, and maybe... Romance?


"Oof!"

"Ouch!"

"Get off me, ferret! You're squashing me!"

"I don't know if you've noticed, Granger, but there's no room! I'm afraid you'll have to stay where you are. You know, you should be honored, Granger. A lot of girls would kill to be in your position – close to me."

"Oh, ha ha, Malfoy. Now, would you kindly move over? I would like to leave this broom closet sometime in the near future, away from you and your oh-so-incredible looks."

"Oh, Merlin! The Gryffindor Princess confessed to her crush on me!"

"Very funny, Malfoy. That was sarcasm, idiot! Now MOVE OVER!"

"As you wish, Granger." Shuffles to one side.

"Shit! The door won't budge! Where on earth is my wand?"

"Why are you asking_ me_? I'm not your keeper; that's Potty and Weasel's job."

"Don't you dare insult my friends! Can't you call them by their proper names?"

"No will do, Granger. Now move and let me try the door!"

"Fine…" Shuffles over.

"Wait a moment… Where's my wand?"

"Ha! It's your turn!"

"Stop gloating, Granger, it's not attractive."

"Did the Slytherin Sex God just admit I'm attractive? The world has turned upside-down!"

"Don't be silly, how could the world turn upside-down? If it was, we'll all be standing on our heads."

"Um… Malfoy? That's a Muggle saying."

"See, that just proves my point. Muggles are stupid."

"Hey! You're insulting my parents!"

"No offense to you and your relatives, Granger. Everyone _knows _you're the cleverest witch in class, and the same must apply to your family. Back to the point: how are we going to get out of here?"

"HELP, SOMEONE! I'M TRAPPED IN A BROOM CLOSET WITH MALFOY! HELP!"

"Pipe down! I'll be going deaf if you keep on hollering right in my ear!"

"HELLO? GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

"There's no use shouting, Granger. This broom closet is in a pretty isolate part of the castle."

"Oh…"

"Hey, Granger."

"Yes?"

"Just now, when you were shouting for help, you just said 'me'. What about me? I need to get out of here too!"

"I couldn't care less if you're stuck here for the rest of your life."

"What happened to the House Unity speech you gave as Head Girl, huh? Does that apply to Slytherins?"

"As a matter of fact, it does. However, I'll be making a special exception for a certain blonde-haired git."

"Oh! That made me feel so warm and fuzzy inside. Should I be proud?"

"No."

"I'll be complaining to McGonagall the moment I get out of here! This is unfair!"

"Oh my God! McGonagall! I'm going to miss Transfiguration!"

"Oh no, _what _a tragedy!"

"McGonagall will give me detention for sure! It'll be the first detention I have as Head Girl –"

"I feel _so _sorry for you!"

" – And worst, she could be teaching something really important for our N.E.W.T.s! Like… the _Draconifors _Spell! Or maybe the _Geminio _Curse, or even the _Piscifors _Jinx! I couldn't believe I'm missing it!"

"That's awful!"

"I know, right?"

"I'm going to pretend that you didn't agree with me."

"It doesn't matter if I agreed with you or not; the point is that this is entirely _your _fault!"

"It is not, Granger."

"Oh yeah? Well, if you hadn't lured me to this closet and planned to trap me in here, then everything will be fine and I'll be in Transfiguration, not stuck here with _you_, of all people!"

"Hello? It is your fault. If you hadn't grabbed my shirt and pulled me after you, then I'll be in Potions, dropping a Decoy Detonator into some innocent Hufflepuff's cauldron!"

"Wait… _Decoy Detonator_?"

"Yes, Granger. Got a problem with that?"

"Yes! You're Head Boy, Malfoy. You're supposed to _behave_!"

"Says who?"

"You… You… Ugh!"

"Me: 1; Granger: 0."

"Very mature, Malfoy. Anyway, I need to get out of here soon; I may be missing Transfiguration, but no way in hell will I miss Charms!"

Rrrrrriiiiiiinnnnnnngggg!

"There goes the bell. Looks like you will miss Charms, Granger."

"Oh no, oh no… The professors are going to kill me!"

"Relax, Granger. If it'll make you feel better, I'll come visit your grave, okay? What flowers do you like?"

"Frangipani, actually… But seriously, Malfoy, _it is not funny_!"

"Really? It is actually quite amusing, in my opinion."

"Ugh… You are hopeless."

"Whatever. Where _did _Crabbe and Goyle go?"

"As a matter of fact, I won't be surprised if they went to class as usual. They aren't exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer."

"'Sharpest knife in the drawer'? What are you talking about?"

"I meant they aren't exactly the brightest people in the year. It's a Muggle saying."

"Muggles and their stupid sayings…"

"You're hopeless, you know that?"

"Shut up, Granger!"

* * *

><p><em>AN: Hello, everyone! The inspiration for this fic came from "Trick Stair" by **Lyra Silvertongue2**. There will some parts where the conversation would be quite similar, but the ending as I'd planned it would be different. Hope you all like it, and please give your comments for this first chapter. As usual, criticisms are welcome, though flamers are not. Come on, press the pretty blue button below and REVIEW!_

_Bianca tabbycat_


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